Its been a very long time since I have updated. Even with semi persistent requests.. A couple weeks ago I went to Arizona with hopes of mending a relationship with my father. Sad to say I left with less then I came with. Maybe I didn't really want to rebuild the father son relationship I never had. Maybe all I wanted to do was get away from here. I dont know. Jay very recently moved from Page to a small town called Knox. Just one less peice of my childhood I can return back to. One more reason for me to let go entirely. We've had our differences as does everyone. Its not because hes a person or anything. Just that he was/is such a reminder of what I called home. However disfunctional it might of been. It was home. I loved Page. Part of me will always I think. Even when I grow old and gray and forget, it will still be there in me. I dont think I will have another home for a long time to come. When I finish school and choose the ups over the downs of a certain city or town to reside in. I want that to be my last move. I am tired and lonely. Things catch up to you quicker when you get older. I'm not sure but I might be starting to believe in things I didn't before. But I don't know.